Confidence - what is that and how can you come by some to help you in life and micro business? Does your confidence ebb and flow leaving you positive one moment and very stuck the next?
Perhaps you're not quite getting to where you want to be in your business because your imposter voice gets super loud and you're not sure you have the confidence to 'go for it' as fully as you'd like.
It's worth mentioning too that confidence can take a big hit when faced with the loveliness on social media. Others are ten steps ahead of you, have nailed social media or simply look so care free.
But, confidence is key in our micro businesses. You must have had some to get things started, but identifying that, nurturing it and then keeping it is what we want to explore today in these steps to boost your confidence.
Let's start at the beginning. What does confidence feel like for you? It's important to remind the brain what confidence actually feels like. If it's not experiencing it often, it's easy to miss or even dismiss. Identify a time when you have felt good about something you were doing or simply how you felt inside. Confidence is mostly not a showy, loud or sparkly feeling (in fact those who are like that a lot can often suffer from a lack of confidence) but a calm, rooted, inner notion that you can do this, be here, take up this space or simply that you'll be ok. Take a moment to think about when you last felt confident about something and sit with what that was really like for you. Notice how you felt, what you felt like in your body and what that bit of confidence encouraged you to do. You might even like to write it all down to capture the experience.
Understand your goal. All coaching starts with a goal setting to help us develop our thinking to get there. It's one thing to say you want to be more confident but perhaps it's useful to establish what for. Where would you like to get to or what would you like to feel like and can you set that as a goal. Perhaps you'd like to do an IG Live or host a workshop. Perhaps you'd like to open a second business or call yourself an expert in something. Note the goal that you're working towards to help you take the steps you need to get there with enough confidence.
Notice the dips. We've looked at what confidence feels like for you and perhaps set a goal that you're headed to. Perhaps now is a good moment to check in more about when your confidence ebbs and flows. Can you establish any patterns that might help you settle that down? For example, have you noticed in the past when your confidence has crashed? What else was happening at that time? Were you getting enough sleep, focussed on your goal, was it at a busy time when you didn't get time for a walk or perhaps eat well? This useful insight can help us understand the building blocks that secure our confidence.
Beliefs. This is a biggy. What does your brain say to you? What beliefs do you really have about yourself or your abilities to achieve your goals? If you're wanting to grow your business, do you really believe you deserve to make that kind of income? If you'd like to show up as an expert in something to help others, do you believe you're the right person to do that? It's super useful to very clearly identify what our limiting beliefs are and be as specific as possible so that it's possible to take steps to counter or challenge those beliefs in the future.
Daily practice. What steps can you build into your daily life that will boost your confidence? These may be built out of understanding about what makes your confidence dip. They may emerge as daily practices to challenge your limiting beliefs. For example you may simply wake up and say out loud that today will be a good day. You may journal to expose the negative thinking in order to make way for the positive. You could write post-its around the house reminding yourself that you're capable, deserving or good enough. This may feel a little 'silly' at first but can be fabulous at unlocking old, negative patterns of thinking.
What's the worst that can happen? I love this question. Often when we're worrying about doing something or not stepping up towards our goals it's because we have a fear. Naming the fear and looking directly at it and working out the very worst that can happen can do two things. Firstly, it's often not as bad as we think. So we want to have the confidence to launch that new service but fear that people may think we're rubbish or not good enough. In reality the worst case might be that no body buys the service but that you can simply rethink about how you're presenting it or get help from others to try again. Secondly, it helps us mitigate disasters. If you're trying to achieve something with risks, then the fear can be positive and you can work through all the safety nets you need to avoid disaster. You may fail at a few steps but they will be great teachers, but you will know you're safe enough.
Take regular audit. So often, confidence can feel like a perpetual loop of not having as much as you'd like. It can be really helpful to take an audit of how far you've actually come. There may have been a time when you thought you couldn't even run a business at all. Perhaps you've forgotten that those clients from 6 months ago thought you were the bees knees. Remind yourself of the progress you're making to grow your inner calm, resilience and confidence.
NOTE: I want to say at this point that a lack of self confidence can have deep seated roots that you may want to explore through more psychological methods. There are trained therapists inside Simply Club or you can explore the BACP website to find help near you.
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